Saturday, July 21, 2012

Meh.. what's really real.

MAN.. After the day I had today, I kinda need to write.  Work this shit out.

My original plan today was to walk to the bank, stop at Bronze Planet for an aqua massage (They don't suck!), then hopefully maybe hit the gym before I had to get ready for work.  BAHAHAHA -- No.

So I woke up stupid late.  I went to bed stupid late, so it just kinda adds up that way.  I actually got to TALK to my girlfriend though.. major awesome.  On my way to the bank I check my finds and whatnot.  Due to not wanting to touch my savings for trivial shit, especially when it's such a trivial amount, and the fact that I had like 37 seconds to get ready for work, it wasn't gonna happen today at all.

Crossing Wallace Road at Glen Creek is always risky unless it's like 4 AM.  Not one single fuck is given at that intersection.  Ever.  So I literally YELLED "Hi!  Your car is three inches from my knee!"  Dude yells at me to get out of the way like it's my fault he wasn't watching for pedestrians.  DAFUQ?!  Douche bag, I'll beat you so bad your momma won't recognize you AND piss on what's left over!  Despite the instant violent urges that turn my blood into a sea of adrenaline I SMILE and offer the advice "Please watch what the fuck you're doing next time, dick." Dude glares and drives up the hill.  Incident ended.  On my way home from the bank, he's BACK at that intersection, and looking all smug at me.  I smile.. in that way that only manages to piss someone off, and motion for him to get out, pull over, whatever.  Despite the fact I got to talk to my girlfriend, I'm ACHING to beat this little snotty bastard!  Nope.  Chuck Testa.  Dude drives away.  Oh well.

I get home JUST in time to hit the shower.  Great!  I can do that, and shave because I'm Lightning McQueen in this piece!  Forgot to put on deodorant, but thankfully, my pits never got to the point tonight that they smelled like anything but soap.  LEGIT!!  Shit.. I should do that now.  Be right back.  Ok.. all better.  Anyway, while I'm in the shower, I make a rookie mistake and catch my yam bag JUST WRONG with the razor.  GREAT!  Meh, it's just blood.  I got to TALK to Tish today.  Fuck it.  I win. So I throw clothes on and head to the bus stop.

While I'm at the bus stop, I express my displeasure with people inviting me to events on nights I work.  Come on people.  My schedule hasn't changed THAT much.  It was the same for a solid year.  ONE day changed.  Not hard to keep track of, and I've expressed that I don't want event invites repeatedly.  Learn some fucking respect.  Anyway, I actually thanked one of the local event promoters for deleting me on Facebook.  I don't care about Facebook, or shit that happens on work nights so I was genuinely pleased.  ....the bitch got mouthy.  I tell her to choke on a bag of dicks AND fuck herself with a cactus. As a result she quips that I have no friends (mostly true), I have no life (entirely true), and I'm just jealous because I work on weekends (Entirely false in terms of being jealous.) and that I'm "truly a freak psycho fatty and should be blocked".

Yeah, I'm a freak.  Much like everyone else, I have certain fetishes I enjoy.  Also, I don't try to fit in with a fucked up society full of morons and drunks.  I work around them.  I don't wanna join them.  That would be dumb.

Yeah, I'm kinda crazy.  I don't much care about my own well being.  That isn't to say I don't wanna be able to afford things and live a healthy lifestyle.  I just really don't care if I get sick or injured.  I've never placed much value in that sort of thing.  Does it suck?  Yeah, but it's usually temporary.  Whatever.  Adapt!  That's what humans do.  I also have off-the-charts anger issues, I'm extremely antisocial, and have a really hard time giving a damn about just about anything.

And yes, I'm fat.  I see it every morning, I admit it at least once a day, and I've dealt with it MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!  I'm also working on changing that because I'm over it.  Whatever.  Does having it thrown in my face help my day get better, no.  Does it hurt having it thrown in my face?  LOL NO.  Like I said.  I've been overweight in the eyes of a society full of stick figures I could break over my knee like kindling for 32 and a half years.  Sometimes, it has it's benefits.  I can make some pretty funny comments when someone asks why I work the door at work.  "Bitch, I AM the door!"  True story.  I use my size as an advantage, and I know how to move myself to make me an immovable object.  You think you're moving this 285 pound asshole if I don't want you to?  No, I don't either.  I'd rather outsmart someone (And believe me, I can.), but if I gotta get physical.. just fucking run.  And when you do, I won't chase you.  Just realize you were right in doing so.

So I get downtown.  I'm trying to text Tish (She's busy) and texting Kat/Kayte/bitchface (LOL <3).  She goes by either of the first two.  Anyway.. EVERY SINGLE PERSON I CROSS PATHS WITH decides that I'm the guy they wanna talk to.  So I do my best to be subtle, bury myself in my phone.  Subtle doesn't work, and I'm getting really grumpy, really fast.  Even when I literally stop responding in any way shape or form.. still with the blah blah blah.  One, I literally growled at.  "Stop.. fucking.. speaking."  I dunno if you caught that earlier, but I'm REALLY antisocial.  So if a conversation with me could save your life and we've never met before then... lol you're dead, and I really don't care.

BUT!  Now I'm tired as hell and I have a headache.  So I leave you with a link to a song I connect with more than I connect with most people.

"The Animal" -- Disturbed

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Discrimination Against Pedestrians?

Its been nearly two years since I had a car.  For the most part, I get around ok.  I can take a bus, a cab, or just walk when I need to go somewhere.  It's no big deal to me.  However, I've found that as a pedestrian there's a lot of discrimination, and a preference toward people with cars.

Issue number one:
Places that close the lobby early, but keep the drive-through window open.  Banks, restaurants, etc.  It can be justified with the fact they need the time to clean the lobby before they close, especially in the case of restaurants.  I get that.  However, everywhere I've worked had a shift where person A closed the lobby, person B closed the back, and the manager did the paperwork.  Whoever finished their closing tasks last stayed until the manager was done.  Considering the fact that after the dinner rush, keeping the lobby clean is super easy, closing the lobby early just doesn't make sense.  In the case of banks, the tellers don't even clean the lobby.  They have a cleaning crew to do that for them.  Maybe it's to lower labor costs, but it still sucks.  especially if you have to make a deposit, need money right away, and have to use the ATM.

Issue number two:
Coffee shacks.  As was the case today during my adventures, the coffee slangin' person was blissfully ignorant of my presence.  When I knocked on the window, it was ignored.  I walked around the front to see if there was even anyone in there and the girl was in the back, playing on her laptop so I knocked again.  She decided it was a great time to do dishes.  Dafuq?!  I saw that the drive-up window.. CLOSEST TO THE REGISTER (Which was within reach.. way to go smart bitch..) was open so I peeked my head in and informed her I'd been waiting outside to order for about five minutes.  She looked at me like I'd just crapped on her front porch and shoved her chair under the desk/counter/wtf-ever and walked up front.  Literally asked me "Well, what do you want?" Now, I had options.  I could have told her to pleasure herself with a cactus.  I SHOULD have, honestly.  However, Coffee In Motion closed at 6, Dutch Bros. is freakin terrible, and I dislike Starbucks as a company.  Thus, I ordered my drink.  A six shot white chocolate Americano with cream on ice.  She made it as fast (and poorly) as she possibly could have - I had to stir the chocolate into it with my straw - took my money (Which did NOT include a tip.  First time in years I haven't tipped my coffee pusher.), and walked away without thanking me, nor even a "see ya later!".  Just walked off.  Snotty bitch.  Had she not had the window open, I probably would have been waiting even longer or just walked off without coffee.  Sorry I disturbed your Facebook session.  There HAVE been time I've gone to Dutch Bros. without a car.  Specifically for blackberry red bull.  It's pretty good!  When I did (Back when I lived on Wallace Rd), it didn't take very long to get noticed at the walk-up window, but my presence there scared the hell out of the coffee pimp.  I can't count the times I'd be standing there, patiently, with a pleasant smile, and literally scared the piss out of the employees.  Back then, I had bus routes and times down!  I had to be at the bus stop, ready to go, by either X:15 or X:45 so I'd get there about 6 minutes early.  That gave me time to finish the cigarette I lit walking out of my house, get a blackberry red bull (I WON'T drink their foul brew.  Yuck.), finish it, and get on the bus.  There were times that I was literally ignored until just before the bus stopped and since you can't take soft-sided containers (AKA coffee stand cups) I would just walk away shaking my head and get on the bus.  Usually, the coffee pimp would ask if I wanted something, and I'd respond with "Yeah, five minutes ago when I had time to drink it.  Have a nice day."

Issue number Three:
Idiot drivers.  Note to all you brainless whelps:  Look BOTH ways before you leave the driveway, turn on a red, etc.  If I had a nickel for every time I'd nearly been hit by some scumbag just watching for oncoming cars instead of looking both ways, I could probably buy the bar I'm currently employed at.  I put my life on the line more often by not having a two thousand pound, motorized suit of armor than most professions that expect to be shot at!  And that's just by walking to McDonalds!  In fact, it happened twice today on my way to pay my storage unit and once yesterday walking to the bus line after a cigarette.  The latter instance the lady literally was inches from taking out my right knee and looked at me like I did something wrong for following the traffic signals!

Now, I'm not hating on people with cars, nor bitching about my lack thereof.  But if this blog post enlightens someone (especially one of you brainless whelps that doesn't watch for pedestrians), then I'm glad to have made a difference. Driving is a privilege, not a right.  Not everyone has that privilege.  Just keep those that don't in mind at intersections and your place of business.

And if you drink and drive, I hope you get popped for it every time it happens. :)