Saturday, July 21, 2012

Meh.. what's really real.

MAN.. After the day I had today, I kinda need to write.  Work this shit out.

My original plan today was to walk to the bank, stop at Bronze Planet for an aqua massage (They don't suck!), then hopefully maybe hit the gym before I had to get ready for work.  BAHAHAHA -- No.

So I woke up stupid late.  I went to bed stupid late, so it just kinda adds up that way.  I actually got to TALK to my girlfriend though.. major awesome.  On my way to the bank I check my finds and whatnot.  Due to not wanting to touch my savings for trivial shit, especially when it's such a trivial amount, and the fact that I had like 37 seconds to get ready for work, it wasn't gonna happen today at all.

Crossing Wallace Road at Glen Creek is always risky unless it's like 4 AM.  Not one single fuck is given at that intersection.  Ever.  So I literally YELLED "Hi!  Your car is three inches from my knee!"  Dude yells at me to get out of the way like it's my fault he wasn't watching for pedestrians.  DAFUQ?!  Douche bag, I'll beat you so bad your momma won't recognize you AND piss on what's left over!  Despite the instant violent urges that turn my blood into a sea of adrenaline I SMILE and offer the advice "Please watch what the fuck you're doing next time, dick." Dude glares and drives up the hill.  Incident ended.  On my way home from the bank, he's BACK at that intersection, and looking all smug at me.  I smile.. in that way that only manages to piss someone off, and motion for him to get out, pull over, whatever.  Despite the fact I got to talk to my girlfriend, I'm ACHING to beat this little snotty bastard!  Nope.  Chuck Testa.  Dude drives away.  Oh well.

I get home JUST in time to hit the shower.  Great!  I can do that, and shave because I'm Lightning McQueen in this piece!  Forgot to put on deodorant, but thankfully, my pits never got to the point tonight that they smelled like anything but soap.  LEGIT!!  Shit.. I should do that now.  Be right back.  Ok.. all better.  Anyway, while I'm in the shower, I make a rookie mistake and catch my yam bag JUST WRONG with the razor.  GREAT!  Meh, it's just blood.  I got to TALK to Tish today.  Fuck it.  I win. So I throw clothes on and head to the bus stop.

While I'm at the bus stop, I express my displeasure with people inviting me to events on nights I work.  Come on people.  My schedule hasn't changed THAT much.  It was the same for a solid year.  ONE day changed.  Not hard to keep track of, and I've expressed that I don't want event invites repeatedly.  Learn some fucking respect.  Anyway, I actually thanked one of the local event promoters for deleting me on Facebook.  I don't care about Facebook, or shit that happens on work nights so I was genuinely pleased.  ....the bitch got mouthy.  I tell her to choke on a bag of dicks AND fuck herself with a cactus. As a result she quips that I have no friends (mostly true), I have no life (entirely true), and I'm just jealous because I work on weekends (Entirely false in terms of being jealous.) and that I'm "truly a freak psycho fatty and should be blocked".

Yeah, I'm a freak.  Much like everyone else, I have certain fetishes I enjoy.  Also, I don't try to fit in with a fucked up society full of morons and drunks.  I work around them.  I don't wanna join them.  That would be dumb.

Yeah, I'm kinda crazy.  I don't much care about my own well being.  That isn't to say I don't wanna be able to afford things and live a healthy lifestyle.  I just really don't care if I get sick or injured.  I've never placed much value in that sort of thing.  Does it suck?  Yeah, but it's usually temporary.  Whatever.  Adapt!  That's what humans do.  I also have off-the-charts anger issues, I'm extremely antisocial, and have a really hard time giving a damn about just about anything.

And yes, I'm fat.  I see it every morning, I admit it at least once a day, and I've dealt with it MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!  I'm also working on changing that because I'm over it.  Whatever.  Does having it thrown in my face help my day get better, no.  Does it hurt having it thrown in my face?  LOL NO.  Like I said.  I've been overweight in the eyes of a society full of stick figures I could break over my knee like kindling for 32 and a half years.  Sometimes, it has it's benefits.  I can make some pretty funny comments when someone asks why I work the door at work.  "Bitch, I AM the door!"  True story.  I use my size as an advantage, and I know how to move myself to make me an immovable object.  You think you're moving this 285 pound asshole if I don't want you to?  No, I don't either.  I'd rather outsmart someone (And believe me, I can.), but if I gotta get physical.. just fucking run.  And when you do, I won't chase you.  Just realize you were right in doing so.

So I get downtown.  I'm trying to text Tish (She's busy) and texting Kat/Kayte/bitchface (LOL <3).  She goes by either of the first two.  Anyway.. EVERY SINGLE PERSON I CROSS PATHS WITH decides that I'm the guy they wanna talk to.  So I do my best to be subtle, bury myself in my phone.  Subtle doesn't work, and I'm getting really grumpy, really fast.  Even when I literally stop responding in any way shape or form.. still with the blah blah blah.  One, I literally growled at.  "Stop.. fucking.. speaking."  I dunno if you caught that earlier, but I'm REALLY antisocial.  So if a conversation with me could save your life and we've never met before then... lol you're dead, and I really don't care.

BUT!  Now I'm tired as hell and I have a headache.  So I leave you with a link to a song I connect with more than I connect with most people.

"The Animal" -- Disturbed

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