Preface: Pardon my language.. or don't. I really don't give a shit right now, and I'm not gonna censor myself. If you can't handle that, this is a great time to stop reading.
The cause of this whole frustrated post is a very simple action: The Sack Tap.
Typically reserved for good friends when you're feeling exceptionally spiteful, or malicious lovers that wanna see you squirm (You know who you are. ;)). It can be performed forehand or backhand and either way, it really kinda sucks. Who likes getting hit in the balls with anything other than female parts mid-coitus?
When you should NOT sack tap someone: When they're already a mutual dislike and alcohol involved.
Seriously, what the FUCK kind of childish idiot, knowing (or not.. who knows?) that the only logical reaction to getting smacked in the nuts is for the recipient to try to cave your stupid-looking face in, thinks that this is a good idea?! If you two already don't like each other, start with a KICK to the nuts. Boom. Game over. Am I right fellas? But to just tap a guy in the nuts hard enough to be a mild annoyance, you're gonna get mashed on. Hard. Like you have a pair yourself, which you obviously fucking DON'T or you would have just socked the other guy in the mouth.
This is supposed to be the happiest time of year. People enjoy the company of their families (Assuming they have some), give and receive gifts, and feast like Gods! Instead, as Christmas draws closer, people seem to want to fight that much more. I'm sorry, but that tells me that your life just plains SUCKS in your opinion. Wanna borrow mine? I thrive on stress that would cause most people ulcers or drive them to drugs. I deal with so much emotional pain from deaths and other losses that a lot of other people would have already figured out exactly what the barrel of their favorite pistol tastes like a hundred times over.. and repainted their ceiling by suck-starting the damn thing. I still wake up at least twice a week and grab the phone to call my mom.. and she's IN A FUCKING URN. Everybody wave to the pretty ocean scene on top of my entertainment center. So forgive me if I have so little compassion left for your petty bullshit that all I wanna do is hit you people like you're grown men. I just wish people would act like they really are grown folks.
So ask yourself, why is it that I haven't ground your faces into the parking lot until they're just pulp on the concrete? The answer is simple.
I have bills to pay, and I can't do that from a prison cell.